Goblins, Statues, and (way too much about) Cats [session 3]

Part I: Victory!(-ish)

The session started as will most likely become the norm - with the party in bad shape. After repeated attempts (and failures) at breaking into a cave with amazing defenses such as lots of water. After a bit of healing of the very talented and amazing Ellamin, and some checking around for alternate entrances (and/or places to pee in, apparently), the party resolved to once more attempt to save Nuna Rockette (I have no idea how that is spelled). It was more of the same, and getting near the overhanging bridge, the party saw 4 goblins atop it. The leader, whose name will never be remembered because no-one cares, was threatening to throw Nuna Rockette's friend over the bridge while he was tied up, something that certainly makes it hard to swim. Using their collective archery skill (read - one person's archery skill), the team was able to dispatch the goblin brigade and untie Nuna's friend, all without taking too much damage. Nuna's friend informed the party that Nuna had been taken to the dungeon of QuezCatan, which is assumed to be an expansion to the popular board game of a similar name. The party was then offered pay in return for escorting Nuna's friend back to the town, which they agreed to. Loot from the dungeon included money, potions, and a jade statue that would soon offer way more contention than was needed.

Part II: What was the bugbear's name, again?

The party had hoped for smooth sailing, but on the way home, it was obvious something was going to go down. Especially after we all had to roll perception checks. The party was ambushed by KRAG, KING OF THE GOBLINS and his troop of said goblins and a wolf. Shockingly enough, enough of the party was shocked at their appearance, certainly giving them the upper hand. The battle itself was ... interesting. It began with Emmett attempting to flee with the loot (and promptly being slain) while Evan failed to steal said loot. Our fighter (the one that actually wanted to be playing) was tackled and killed by the wolf before he could do anything. After taking a beat, though, the party was able to get its collective shit together and promptly slay KRAG, KING OF THE GOBLINS and his pals. It had seemed the hardest part of the journey would be over at that point. Unfortunately, a greater challenge awaited still...

Part III: I thought the point of loot was the money. (Or, Much, Much, Much Ado about Nothing)

Upon returning to town, selling most of the loot, and getting their pay, it came down to the jade frog statue. It seemed so simple: The jade frog was worth 40 gp, almost double the money than the rest of the loot. The logical and ever-wise drow Ellamin advocated that it be sold. Unfortunately, parts of the party fervently disagreed: It needed to be kept, for some reason that no-one will ever understand. Ellamin, being as wise as he always is, decided that if he could steal and sell the statue, the money could then be divided evenly, which is what the party really needed. Unfortunately, upon getting caught, the debate just got more and more heated until they realized no-one even wanted to buy the trinket in the town. Then, after way to many attempts to buy various animals, we set off for the dreaded dungeon of QuezCatan.

Session 2

The adventurers walked over to a fissure in the ceiling. They notice dung, trash, and bones. Jeff climbs up the goblin crap-chute. Red climbs up the crap-chute. They see one large goblin and two small goblins huddled around a fire with tied-up humans and crates. Bilbo climbs up halfway, and falls on Orsek. Red attempts to distract the goblins, but they notice them. Red and Jeff frantically fall down the chute. On their way out they hear a roar and Jeff and Orsek fall unconscious and are swept up. The small crick had become a raging river! Bilbo and Red drag Jeff and Orsek to safety, and they awaken. They travel to the inn, but are kicked out because of Jeff's drunken attempt at intimidating the innkeeper.

They camp at the outskirts of town, meeting a drow named Ellamin. They come back to the goblin thicket, This time there are four goblins waiting for them, but they are defeated,  leaving Ellamin unconscious. They quickly revive him. The crew push forward into the treacherous goblin cave. They follow the stream to a bridge with one goblin. He screams and is quickly shot off. Two goblins attack the group from behind.  They quickly defeated the goblins. They suddenly hear a roar. Everyone braces and Ellamin climbs up the wall but is swept off by the current. The adventurers head out and Wolfy revives Ellamin.

In The Beginning... [session 1]

The great group was sitting in the dragon inn, drinking and discussing. They needed an adventure and wanted one too. One grumbling in the background of the conversation, "Look there" pointing at a dwarf, "Nuno needs to get to the mines, it is treacherous to bring his supplies."

"Yes, but how will we help?" said Robinhood.

"His horse, fatty lumpkin, can't pull a carriage of supplies, and he needs a caravan. Our oxen are up for the job."

They approach Nuno Rockhead, with hopeful looks on their faces. Nuno responds to their faces by laughing "Are you adventurer's, looking to help my caravan? Introduce yourselves like proper men!"

Bilbo "Hi, I am Bilbo Baggins of Hobbiton. I am a HOBBIT."

SMASH "Pleasure to meet you, Nuno Rockhead. SMASH is at your service."

Jeff "Well hello there, I am Jeff Person. I am sure my intelligence could guide you to safety."

Orsek "I am Orsek."

Robin "I am destined to sa-"

Nuno drunkenly interrupts "Well let's go..."

Later: They traveled down the road 3/4 of the way, when they came across Fatty Lumpkin with another horse, with arrows in their side. They were rushed by goblins on both sides.  Robinhood takes out an arrow and shoots at a goblin it blocks with its shield and keeps on charging. Jeff shoots a ray of frost at the goblin freezing in its tracks. Bilbo splashes oil onto the goblin nearest to Orsek. Orsek then lights it on fire. Jeff burns the other goblin before it gets smashed by SMASH. Robinhood takes a shot at an archer goblin striking it in the crotch killing it. The other archer tries to hide when SMASH charges in splitting it's head.

After a bit of investigation the group finds that it was the goblins who had shot the horses and abducted Nuno and his assistant, dragging them into the woods. They decided to rest before attempting the rescue.

Upon reaching the Inn the group pulls the carriage round the back.  They explain their situation to the Innkeeper and he grants them a nights rest.

In the morning they all go to the scene of the battle and follow tracks to a beaten down path in the forest. Bilbo moves ahead to scout when a rope tightens nearly gripping his foot and dangling him. Before he had moved farther ahead he activated a pitfall trap and jumped over the ditch at the last second.

They all safely reach a clearing with a stream and some thickets when they realize that there are two goblins snoozing in the bushes. Bilbo throws a flask of oil dousing the goblins and Orsek lights one on fire. Jeff shooting more fire at them. Bilbo and Robinhood shoot the unburned goblin severely wounding it. The first goblin burns to death and the other goblin is disintegrated by SMASH. They enter the goblin cave, when they meet a split in the cave. There were three wolves, and they smashed them to bits, with Jeff and Bilbo falling unconscious.