Session 7

The party FINALLY entered the dread halls of Quasqueton...

They were threatened by some Magic Mouths, but were unimpressed.

They came across the remains of some previous explorers who had not fared well. Corpses were strewn about an intersection of corridors. When examined, some of these attacked! But the zombies were defeated.

They took the left passage, which after a bit, turned left again. After another while, they came to a passage on their left with a secret door. They followed it, coming to a T intersection. They turned right. And promptly exited Quasqueton they way they had come in!

They re-entered the dungeon. And this time they learned their lesson. No, not the one about mapping being a good idea, but at least that three lefts and a right equal a U turn...

Wandering the halls, they encountered:

• An abandoned dining room
• An abandoned kitchen
• An abaondend lounge, with a large statue and a giant poisonous spider! Which was defeated.
• Winding passages
• Many small empty rooms
• A small room with an orc guarding a pie. Attempts to trick the orc into giving them the pie were tragically unsuccessful, and combat was joined. The orc was slain and the pie taken.
• More winding passages
• Some wandering zombies. Don't forget to make sure they're really dead...
• Three guest rooms. One of which housed several orcs. The dirty orcs were slain. Alas, the dungeon pie was lost in the scuffle. Another lesson learned: climbing into bed with a bunch of dead orcs can result in a bad case of Dungeon Funk. Unpleasant, but not fatal or even crippling (this time at least).
• Still more winding passages. Still no mapping, though.
• Some horrbile mosquito-bats. But they were easily defeated.

And that was it. Until next time...

On the way to Quasqueton... [session 6]

We met Frank and Jones, a two-headed giant. They wanted dwarf for breakfast. They got death.

Then we were ambushed (unsuccessfully) by some bumbling goblins. The smallest goblin was so bumbling that he took out two of his comrades himself. We spared his life and he joined our party. His name was Filip.

Alas, the goat men that we ran into after that seemed to be dread enemies of the goblins. There was some confusion about whether Filip was our friend or our prisoner. Filip ran away and the goat men attacked. Robin chased after Filip, Wolfy chased after Robin, while Bilbo, Red Spy, Orsek and SMASH battled the goat men despite being outnumbered. And that battle did not go well. Wolfy ran back and forth between trying to help Robin and healing fallen adventurers. But, finally, the four were victorious. Beaten and bruised we continued on, our new 'friend' Filip still in our midst...

At least until our next encounter with goat men, right in the shadow of Quasqueton. These goat men immediately attacked Filip, slaying him with expertly thrown hand axes. Should we avenge him? We were hurt, our spell and healing resources sorely depleted. Surely retreat was the prudent option. Red and Bilbo did just that. But Robin and Wolfy were enraged and charged into battle. Orsek and SMASH wouldn't let their allies fight alone. When Bilbo and Red saw their friends in battle, their retreat became a wide flanking maneuver. Tragically, by the time they got around, the goat men had downed all four who had fought, and had even slain Orsek's faithful hound, Ripper. Luckily, the savage goat men had disappeared back into the woods after their savage victory. Bilbo and Red bandaged up their fallen comrades, and we all made camp for the night to heal up.

Tomorrow we enter the dungeon of Quasqueton!

Session 5 notes

Some quick bullet points of what happened:

• Red Spy continued reading the wizard's journal - of note was that the goat men were increasingly hostile, to beware the thing in the pool's kiss, and that Charly was getting hungrier and hungrier.
• They finished exploring the wizard's tower.  They found his bedroom (with a few gold pieces in a chest), and a puppet theater.  Some odd puppets were gathered by the adventurers, including Charly - who, when fed a gold piece, comes alive.  No matter how many times he was asked, Charly seemed to know nothing, but would do one task for the person feeding him.
• They left the tower locked, with the key back under the mat.  All told, they took from the tower: a couple of the books from the library, a few jars of pickles, a couple of the puppets (including Charly), the gold, a frying pan and a walking stick.
• After about an hour walk down the river, they found the wizard Franklin.  He was dead by the river, his head bashed in and his spellbook ruined. They left without disturbing him further.
• At night, it started to rain, so they took shelter in a cave and were promptly attacked by stalactites hurling themselves off the ceiling at them.  The battle was long, but ultimately our heroes were victorious.
• In the morning, they explored the cave.  Red Spy was immediately attacked and knocked unconscious by a trash monster.  His friends were able to defeat the monster and save him.  They continued on, to meet...
• ...Korsso, the last of the Sleestaks.  The tiny pale fellow is clearly insane.  And will eat anything.  But friendly enough - he even introduced them to his pet: a horrifying tentacle-headed serpent.  The serpent did not like the adventurers one bit, but did not eat them when Korsso asked it not to.  Korsso told them there was a shrine in the next cavern over.
• And sure enough, there was a shrine to Qurgan Quagnar, the deformed god of three-legged toads.  Many of the party left gold piece tributes to this fell being.  Wolfy also left the wizard's walking stick.  Will placating the Curmudgeon God bring them weal or woe?...
• With the caves fully explored, our adventurers continued along the river towards Quasqueton.

Session 4

After much discussion of how much food to buy, the adventurers set off toward Quasqueton.  They chose to follow the river.  Despite this being a longer route, they figured it would be harder for them to get lost.  Also, the unmarked tower 1/3 of the way there beckoned them...

The day of travel was largely uneventful.  SMASH did some fishing to supplement their food supplies at lunchtime.  A pair of goat-men were seen across the river.  A single spell and a flask of oil were thrown at them.  They responded with a spear.  No serious damage was done by either party.  Jeff took this opportunity to run ahead of the party.  When actual words were used between the groups, the goat-men simply asked if the party were in cahoots with the bug-men, and apparently were satisfied with the noncommittal answer Red Spy gave, because they then disappeared back into the woods from whence they came.  Jeff had only made it a couple hundred yards up the river, so the party was once more united.

As nightfall approached, they made it to the tower.  It had no door.  After much searching, they discovered the door in the woods nearby.  It was painted green with a dragon-head door knocker.  The welcome mat read "Please Go Away."  After knocking and calling out, they checked the door.  It was locked, but the wily rogue Bilbo thought to look under the mat for a key (he totally wasn't prodded by the DM).  It was there!  They entered the tower.

A long passage stretched before them.  There was a door on the left.  They cautiously opened it to find a cloak room, full of cloaks.  And boots.  And a walking staff.  Smash picked up the staff, and then put it back.  They left the cloaks and galoshes undisturbed and continued on.

The next door was on the right.  It was a work room.  Containing a work table and a bunch of tables.  Boring! They continued on.

Next they came to a long staircase down.  They went down the stairs to find themselves in a sitting room with a fireplace.  There were two other doors leaving the room as well as two tapestries hanging on the walls.  One tapestry showed a unicorn feast, the other a wizard (named Franklin) standing proudly on a hill.  Investigating the room, they were attacked by hungry stirges living in the chimney.  Orsek had some blood drawn, but the the little blood-suckers were handily defeated.

One of the doors led to a study.  Orsek and SMASH found some interesting books, while Red Spy and Bilbo investigated the desk.  Jeff took this opportunity to head upstairs to see what else could be found.  In the locked desk (the key was under the carpet), they found a diary which told of a thing in a pool that always tells the truth, and that the goat-men were becoming increasingly unfriendly.  The other door led to a store room full of pickles.

Jeff found a kitchen upstairs, but did not enter.  He then found the main parlor with more stairs headed down, a ladder heading up, some couches and a large painting of a wizard stating proudly on a hill.  He climbed the ladder and enjoyed the view from the roof.  Had the DM been a little more on top of it, a beautiful sunset would have been described.

While Jeff enjoyed the view, the rest of the party looked behind the tapestries in the fireplace room.  A secret door was found! It lead to a room with a bubbling pool.  Only the pool had mouths, and the bubbles were eyes. Yikes!  The party realized that by giving the thing pickles, it would answer their questions.  Kind of - the answers are hard to make out because all the mouths talk at once, and some seem to be saying gibberish.  The adventurers asked it some questions about the rumors of Quasqueton and also some other questions:

• Is Nuno Rockhead in Quasqueton? certainly, goat, golden
• Will you attack us? muskrat, not
• Who are the goat men? husbands, crimson, face
• Who is Franklin? wizard, frying pan
• Where is Franklin? river, bludgeon
• Did someone named Bilbo just get attacked by rats?* yes, pickle
• Who are you? ichor, thing, speaks
• Do you know anything about Quasqueton? I, know, toenail
• Did Red Spy just get attacked by goat men?* negative, pickle
• Did Franklin make Quasqueton? [buzzing sound], squid
• What is your name? the, speaks, that, housekeeping
• Does a magical rock within Quasqueton grant a wish to anyone who chips off a piece and puts it in their mouth? are, ink, no!, you
• Is Quasqueton's trophy room filled with battle relics and slain monsters? affirmative, pickle
• Are there are untold treasures hidden in a pool of water in Quasqueton? nope, pools, pretzel, valuable
• Is there a gem as big as a giant's fist in Quasqueton? most, not, vermillion
• Is there a room on the first level of Quasqueton that has many pools of water? certainly, pickle

*At some point during the questioning, Bilbo went up to the kitchen to get a frying pan and was attacked by rats.  At no point during the questioning was Red Spy attacked by goat men.

Jeff went for a late night run, realized he couldn't make it the two day journey to Quasqueton that night, so returned.  Everyone then went to sleep in the parlor (the couches are quite comfortable), leaving the elves to keep watch on the un-explored staircase and the remaining rats in the kitchen.

Quasqueton

Some rumors the adventurers have heard about where they are headed.

• A magical rock within Quasqueton grants a wish to anyone who chips off a piece and puts it in their mouth.
• Even the walls of Quasqueton speak to visitors.
• Quasqueton has two levels.
• Quasqueton is still guarded by its original guards.
• Quasqueton's trophy room is filled with battle relics and slain monsters.
• Quasqueton was never finished being built.
• Quasqueton was built by orc slaves, and they are still in there.
• There are untold treasures hidden in a pool of water in Quasqueton.
• There is a gem as big as a giant's fist in Quasqueton.
• There is a room on the first level of Quasqueton that has many pools of water.
• There is a wizard's workshop in Quasqueton.

Goblins, Statues, and (way too much about) Cats [session 3]

Part I: Victory!(-ish)

The session started as will most likely become the norm - with the party in bad shape. After repeated attempts (and failures) at breaking into a cave with amazing defenses such as lots of water. After a bit of healing of the very talented and amazing Ellamin, and some checking around for alternate entrances (and/or places to pee in, apparently), the party resolved to once more attempt to save Nuna Rockette (I have no idea how that is spelled). It was more of the same, and getting near the overhanging bridge, the party saw 4 goblins atop it. The leader, whose name will never be remembered because no-one cares, was threatening to throw Nuna Rockette's friend over the bridge while he was tied up, something that certainly makes it hard to swim. Using their collective archery skill (read - one person's archery skill), the team was able to dispatch the goblin brigade and untie Nuna's friend, all without taking too much damage. Nuna's friend informed the party that Nuna had been taken to the dungeon of QuezCatan, which is assumed to be an expansion to the popular board game of a similar name. The party was then offered pay in return for escorting Nuna's friend back to the town, which they agreed to. Loot from the dungeon included money, potions, and a jade statue that would soon offer way more contention than was needed.

Part II: What was the bugbear's name, again?

The party had hoped for smooth sailing, but on the way home, it was obvious something was going to go down. Especially after we all had to roll perception checks. The party was ambushed by KRAG, KING OF THE GOBLINS and his troop of said goblins and a wolf. Shockingly enough, enough of the party was shocked at their appearance, certainly giving them the upper hand. The battle itself was ... interesting. It began with Emmett attempting to flee with the loot (and promptly being slain) while Evan failed to steal said loot. Our fighter (the one that actually wanted to be playing) was tackled and killed by the wolf before he could do anything. After taking a beat, though, the party was able to get its collective shit together and promptly slay KRAG, KING OF THE GOBLINS and his pals. It had seemed the hardest part of the journey would be over at that point. Unfortunately, a greater challenge awaited still...

Part III: I thought the point of loot was the money. (Or, Much, Much, Much Ado about Nothing)

Upon returning to town, selling most of the loot, and getting their pay, it came down to the jade frog statue. It seemed so simple: The jade frog was worth 40 gp, almost double the money than the rest of the loot. The logical and ever-wise drow Ellamin advocated that it be sold. Unfortunately, parts of the party fervently disagreed: It needed to be kept, for some reason that no-one will ever understand. Ellamin, being as wise as he always is, decided that if he could steal and sell the statue, the money could then be divided evenly, which is what the party really needed. Unfortunately, upon getting caught, the debate just got more and more heated until they realized no-one even wanted to buy the trinket in the town. Then, after way to many attempts to buy various animals, we set off for the dreaded dungeon of QuezCatan.

Session 2

The adventurers walked over to a fissure in the ceiling. They notice dung, trash, and bones. Jeff climbs up the goblin crap-chute. Red climbs up the crap-chute. They see one large goblin and two small goblins huddled around a fire with tied-up humans and crates. Bilbo climbs up halfway, and falls on Orsek. Red attempts to distract the goblins, but they notice them. Red and Jeff frantically fall down the chute. On their way out they hear a roar and Jeff and Orsek fall unconscious and are swept up. The small crick had become a raging river! Bilbo and Red drag Jeff and Orsek to safety, and they awaken. They travel to the inn, but are kicked out because of Jeff's drunken attempt at intimidating the innkeeper.

They camp at the outskirts of town, meeting a drow named Ellamin. They come back to the goblin thicket, This time there are four goblins waiting for them, but they are defeated,  leaving Ellamin unconscious. They quickly revive him. The crew push forward into the treacherous goblin cave. They follow the stream to a bridge with one goblin. He screams and is quickly shot off. Two goblins attack the group from behind.  They quickly defeated the goblins. They suddenly hear a roar. Everyone braces and Ellamin climbs up the wall but is swept off by the current. The adventurers head out and Wolfy revives Ellamin.

In The Beginning... [session 1]

The great group was sitting in the dragon inn, drinking and discussing. They needed an adventure and wanted one too. One grumbling in the background of the conversation, "Look there" pointing at a dwarf, "Nuno needs to get to the mines, it is treacherous to bring his supplies."

"Yes, but how will we help?" said Robinhood.

"His horse, fatty lumpkin, can't pull a carriage of supplies, and he needs a caravan. Our oxen are up for the job."

They approach Nuno Rockhead, with hopeful looks on their faces. Nuno responds to their faces by laughing "Are you adventurer's, looking to help my caravan? Introduce yourselves like proper men!"

Bilbo "Hi, I am Bilbo Baggins of Hobbiton. I am a HOBBIT."

SMASH "Pleasure to meet you, Nuno Rockhead. SMASH is at your service."

Jeff "Well hello there, I am Jeff Person. I am sure my intelligence could guide you to safety."

Orsek "I am Orsek."

Robin "I am destined to sa-"

Nuno drunkenly interrupts "Well let's go..."

Later: They traveled down the road 3/4 of the way, when they came across Fatty Lumpkin with another horse, with arrows in their side. They were rushed by goblins on both sides.  Robinhood takes out an arrow and shoots at a goblin it blocks with its shield and keeps on charging. Jeff shoots a ray of frost at the goblin freezing in its tracks. Bilbo splashes oil onto the goblin nearest to Orsek. Orsek then lights it on fire. Jeff burns the other goblin before it gets smashed by SMASH. Robinhood takes a shot at an archer goblin striking it in the crotch killing it. The other archer tries to hide when SMASH charges in splitting it's head.

After a bit of investigation the group finds that it was the goblins who had shot the horses and abducted Nuno and his assistant, dragging them into the woods. They decided to rest before attempting the rescue.

Upon reaching the Inn the group pulls the carriage round the back.  They explain their situation to the Innkeeper and he grants them a nights rest.

In the morning they all go to the scene of the battle and follow tracks to a beaten down path in the forest. Bilbo moves ahead to scout when a rope tightens nearly gripping his foot and dangling him. Before he had moved farther ahead he activated a pitfall trap and jumped over the ditch at the last second.

They all safely reach a clearing with a stream and some thickets when they realize that there are two goblins snoozing in the bushes. Bilbo throws a flask of oil dousing the goblins and Orsek lights one on fire. Jeff shooting more fire at them. Bilbo and Robinhood shoot the unburned goblin severely wounding it. The first goblin burns to death and the other goblin is disintegrated by SMASH. They enter the goblin cave, when they meet a split in the cave. There were three wolves, and they smashed them to bits, with Jeff and Bilbo falling unconscious.